Men and Women ARE different. Wow!!!!

Hey all you red blooded men out there. Have you ever been making some juice, the kind that comes in a cardboard thing so the semi-gelatinous like juice has to slink out of it, into the juice jug? Sure. We've all been there. However- while doing it, do you ever make moaning and groaning sounds like you're taking the most difficult dump ever in history, just so you can laugh like a maniacal idiot when the stuff makes a PLOP sound as it lands in the jug? Sure you have. You probably do it all the time. If you haven't, you will now. You know what the odd thing is about this, though? Women don't think it's funny!

Another story. Today as we were driving home, something reminded me of the early 90's Dolph Lundgren motion picture crapfest "I Come In Peace". I began relating the plot of it to my wife. It's your basic cop chases alien action flick, except every time the alien kills someone, he first says, rather ironically, "I Come In Peace". I told her the plot, I told her the story, I fucking even told her it starred Dolph Lundgren. Then ,this happened:

ME: ...and finally at the end, Dolph picks up this huge mother gun and points it at the alien who says "I Come in Peace" and just before blowing him away, Dolph retorts..

SHE: (Cutting me off) Stop it. I don't care. I don't need to make a place in my head for that kind of crap...

ME: But, I've already told you the plot of the movie, what it's called, and who stars in it...everything EXCEPT Dolph's final line.

SHE: I don't care. I don't care.

Now here's the thing. I HAD already told her all those things. There is definitely now, much to her chagrin, a place in her head for this movie. Would it be too expanded by knowing what Dolph Lundgren says before he shoots a space creature? Would that destroy a balance in her mind?

Unbelieveable. And on that note, dear reader, I rest my case. Oh- men also find it very funny to fart and blame it on the dog or cat, even if said animal isn't even in the room or, indeed, the house itself (maybe it went to the vet? Who knows.) Women do not tend to, as a species, find this amusing. Just thought I'd mention it.

What a closer, huh!!!